Unit 3 Performance Task: Revising and Editing My “What the Sun Sees” Poem | EL Education Curriculum

You are here

Home › Our Curriculum › ELA Grade 1 › ELA G1:M2 › ELA G1:M2:U3 ›

ELA G1:M2:U3:L11

Unit 3 Performance Task: Revising and Editing My “What the Sun Sees” Poem

In this Lesson

You are here:

These are the CCS Standards addressed in this lesson:

  • W.1.5: With guidance and support from adults, focus on a topic, respond to questions and suggestions from peers, and add details to strengthen writing as needed.
  • SL.1.4: Describe people, places, things, and events with relevant details, expressing ideas and feelings clearly.
  • L.1.1f: Use frequently occurring adjectives.
  • L.1.1j: Produce and expand complete simple and compound declarative, interrogative, imperative, and exclamatory sentences in response to prompts.
  • L.1.2b: Use end punctuation for sentences.
Download Materials

Daily Learning Targets

  • I can revise my work for details. (W.1.5, L.1.1f, L.1.1j)
  • I can edit my work for conventions. (W.1.5, L.1.1j, L.1.2b)

Ongoing Assessment

  • As students revise and edit during Work Time C, monitor their progress toward W.1.5 using the Narrative Writing Checklist. At the end of Work Time C, collect students' poems along with your completed High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist to serve as work samples demonstrating progress toward W.1.5 (see Assessment Overview and Resources).

Agenda

AgendaTeaching Notes

1. Opening

A. Engaging the Learner: Moon Movement Routine (5 minutes)

2. Work Time

A. Reviewing Criteria for High-Quality Work (5 minutes)

B. Revising and Editing: Using the High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist(15 minutes)

C. Revising and Editing: "What the Sun Sees" Poem (30 minutes)

3. Closing and Assessment

A. Pinky Partners: Sharing Our Work (5 minutes)

Purpose of lesson and alignment to standards:

  • In this lesson, students focus on revising their finished poem for details and editing their poem for conventions.
  • In Work Time B, students are introduced to the High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist that is used to give them feedback regarding which parts of their "What the Sun Sees" poem they will revise and edit. Students watch the teacher model how to use the checklist to identify revisions and edits that need to be made to the draft "What the Sun Sees" poem (W.1.5).
  • When modeling how to revise and edit on the "What the Sun Sees" example, consider using white correction tape or white paper to cover the mistakes and to allow space to make corrections directly on the model.

How this lesson builds on previous work:

  • In Lessons 8-10, students wrote their "What the Sun Sees" poem. In this lesson, they use teacher feedback to revise and edit their poem to make it clearer and easier to read.
  • During this lesson, students again revisit the High-Quality Work anchor chart (introduced in Lesson 3) and compare it to the High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist that is introduced in today's lesson.
  • In Lessons 8-10, students practiced giving and receiving feedback on their "What the Sun Sees" poems. Many students will use this feedback to revise and edit their poems, but the main focus in terms of applying feedback is on using the teacher's written feedback found on the High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist.
  • Continue to use Goal 1-3 Conversation Cues to promote productive and equitable conversation.

Areas in which students may need additional support:

  • Students may need additional time to revise and edit their entire poem during Work Time C. Consider your students' comfort and capabilities with this task and reallocate instructional time to provide more time for the task as necessary.
  • Some students may find it difficult to revise and edit directly on the "What the Sun Sees" poem template. Consider providing sticky notes and/or correction tape for students to use. If using pencil to correct, encourage students to erase neatly and to erase all pencil marks before correcting.

Down the road:

  • In Lesson 12, students will practice sharing their "What the Sun Sees" poems for the celebration of learning in Lesson 13.
  • In Lesson 12, students will begin to prepare and collect work from previous units that they will share during the end of module celebration.
  • In Lesson 13, students will share learning from all three units during the end of module celebration. If you have not already done so, consider extending invitations to the principal, families, community members, and other teachers and their classes to attend.

In Advance

  • Prepare clipboards with students' "What the Sun Sees" poem and their completed High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist for distribution in Work Time C.
  • Review the Pinky Partners protocol. (Refer to the Classroom Protocols document for the full version of the protocol.)
  • Post: Learning targets, Moon Movement chart, and applicable anchor charts (see materials list).

Tech and Multimedia

Consider using an interactive white board or document camera to display lesson materials.

  • Opening A: If you recorded students participating in the Moon Movement routine in Unit 1, play this video for them to remind them of what to do.
  • Work Time B: Create the High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist in an online format, such as a Google Doc, for display and for families to access at home to reinforce these skills.
  • Work Time B: Create the "What the Sun Sees" example in an online format, such as a Google Doc, to display.

Supporting English Language Learners

Supports guided in part by CA ELD Standards 1.I.C.10 and 1.II.B.4

Important points in the lesson itself

  • The basic design of this lesson supports ELLs by inviting them to apply what they have learned about giving and receiving feedback in previous lessons.
  • Consider allowing additional time for students to revise and edit their entire poem during Work Time C.
  • The revising and editing process may be challenging for ELLs, as they will need to navigate the High-Quality Work checklist for the first time today and attend to revisions and edits based on the teacher feedback in that form. Likewise, they might not be able to see the reason for the revisions in the teacher's feedback (how they used adjectives incorrectly or how the descriptions they wrote don't make sense). See additional support in the lesson.
  • Make sure ELLs understand the revision and editing directions and the High-Quality Work checklist. See additional support in the lesson.

Levels of support

For lighter support:

  • Consider allowing additional time for students to revise and edit their entire poem during Work Time C.

For heavier support:

  • Consider creating a list of the steps students have taken in previous lessons and today as they prepare to write their poem: Interactive Word Wall protocol, analyzing an exemplar, choosing entries that describe the sun at morning, midday, and evening from their Sky notebook, and practicing using temporal lines. Draw a small icon by each and keep displayed to support students as they move into writing their piece as well as to reflect on learning at the end.

Universal Design for Learning

  • Multiple Means of Representation (MMR): To get the most informative data from the performance task, ensure that all students have access to the directions and feel comfortable with the expectations. Vary the ways in which you convey expectations for each step in the revision and editing process. Consider engaging in a clarifying discussion about the directions or creating an outline of the steps for Work Time C.
  • Multiple Means of Action & Expression (MMAE): It can be challenging for students to know how to use tools for revision (eraser, whiteout tape) effectively without removing all their hard work. Before students revise their writing, offer options of tools for this process and model how to use each.
  • Multiple Means of Engagement (MME): Some students may require support with limiting distractions during the performance task (e.g., using sound-canceling headphones or dividers between workspaces). Similarly, some students may require variations in time to complete the revisions and edits. Consider breaking the task into more manageable parts and offering breaks at certain times. During the performance task, provide scaffolds that support executive function skills, self-regulation, and students' abilities to monitor progress before and after the assessment. For example, visual prompts or reminders that support sustained effort.

Vocabulary

Key: Lesson-Specific Vocabulary (L); Text-Specific Vocabulary (T); Vocabulary Used in Writing (W)

New:

  • revise, edit (L)

Materials

  • Moon Movement chart (from Unit 1, Lesson 2; one to display)
  • High-Quality Work anchor chart (begun in Lesson 3)
  • High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist example (one to display; see Assessment Overview and Resources)
  • "What the Sun Sees" example (one to display)
  • "What the Sun Sees" example (answers, for teacher reference)
  • High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist (one per student; returned with feedback during Work Time C; see Assessment Overview and Resources)
  • "What the Sun Sees" poem (completed in Lesson 10; revised during Work Time C; one per student)
  • Narrative Writing Checklist (from Lesson 5; for teacher reference; see Assessment Overview and Resources)
  • Pinky Partners Protocol anchor chart (begun in Module 1) 

Assessment

Each unit in the K-2 Language Arts Curriculum has one standards-based assessment built in. The module concludes with a performance task at the end of Unit 3 to synthesize their understanding of what they accomplished through supported, standards-based writing.

Opening

OpeningMeeting Students' Needs

Opening

A. Engaging the Learner: Moon Movement Routine (5 minutes)

  • Invite students to the whole group area.
  • Remind them that in the last lesson, they reviewed and practiced the steps of the Sun Movement routine in preparation for the end of module celebration. Today they will review and practice the steps of the Moon Movement routine.
  • Display the Moon Movement chart and invite student volunteers to lead the class through the Moon Movement routine as time permits.
  • Tell students that they will get to display both movement routines at the end of module celebration.
  • Provide options for physical movement during the Moon Movement routine. (Example: Invite students to join in with movements as appropriate from a seated position.) (MMAE)
  • For ELLs: Some students might not remember the steps of this routine from Unit 1. Before starting, briefly review some of the verbal directives involved in the Moon Movement routine and how they correspond to the Moon Movement chart before beginning the routine. (Example: "Can someone show me how you could show a crescent moon?")

Work Time

Work TimeMeeting Students' Needs

A. Reviewing Criteria for High-Quality Work (5 minutes)

  • Remind students that over the past several lessons, they worked hard to complete their "What the Sun Sees" poems.
  • Direct students' attention to the posted High-Quality Work anchor chart and remind them that they referenced the criteria on this chart as they wrote their poems.
  • Referring to the High-Quality  Work anchor chart, read both criteria aloud:
    • "Includes details"
    • "Follows conventions"
  • Using a total participation technique, invite responses from the group:

"What kinds of details should we include in our writing?" (descriptive details that make a picture in the reader's mind)

"Which conventions should we follow?" (complete sentences, end punctuation, Word Wall words spelled correctly)

"What makes a piece of writing high quality?" (when our writing shows our knowledge and displays craftsmanship)

  • Confirm students' thinking and tell them that they will spend time in today's lesson reviewing their "What the Sun Sees" poem to ensure that the writing is high quality. 
  • For students who may need additional support with oral language and processing: Allow ample wait time as students prepare to share their thinking. (MME, MMAE)
  • For ELLs: Consider showing the "What the Moon Sees" example to give context for the work with the High-Quality Work anchor chart today. (Example: "We used the High-Quality Work anchor chart to analyze what made it high-quality work. Today we will use this chart to analyze our poem and make sure it's high-quality work".)

B. Revising and Editing: Using the High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist (15 minutes)

  • Direct students' attention to the posted learning targets and read them aloud:
    • "I can revise my work for details."
    • "I can edit my work for conventions."
  • Tell students they have worked hard to write their "What the Sun Sees" poems, and they are almost ready to share them at the end of module celebration!
  • Tell students that before they share, they need to do something that all writers do: revise and edit.
  • Tell students that when writers reread their writing to make sure it makes sense and is accurate, this is called revising. When writers edit their writing, they do their best to make sure their writing follows conventions, and they correct any mistakes they notice.
  • Direct students' attention to the High-Quality Work anchor chart and remind them of the criteria for high-quality work.
  • Display the High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist example and ask:

"What similarities do you notice between the High-Quality Work anchor chart and the High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist?" (The checklist has the same criteria but also has more information.)

  • Tell students that the High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist includes the criteria from the High-Quality Work anchor chart and adds more detail to describe each of the criteria. Referring to the High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist example, point to the two tables labeled "Includes details" and "Follows conventions."
  • Direct students' attention to the table labeled "Includes details" and read the detailed criteria aloud:
    • "The descriptions make sense and create a picture in my reader's mind."
    • "The adjectives are used correctly in each verse."
  • Repeat this process with the table labeled "Follows conventions":
    • "Words from the Word Wall are spelled correctly."
    • "Complete sentences"
    • "End punctuation"
  • Tell students that the High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist provides feedback to the writer regarding which parts of his or her writing need revision or editing. They will see a check mark in the "yes" column for each detailed criteria if they included it in their poem and a "no" in the column if it is missing and they need to revise or edit for this criteria.
    • The table labeled "Includes details" provides information about any revisions that need to be made.
    • The table labeled "Follows conventions" provides information about any edits that need to be made.
  • Tell students that they now get to help revise and edit an example poem using the High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist.
  • Display and read aloud the "What the Sun Sees" example.
  • Redirect students' attention to the High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist example.
  • Think aloud to model how to use the feedback on the High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist example to revise and edit the poem. Refer to "What the Sun Sees" example (answers, for teacher reference) as necessary.
    • "When I look at the checklist, I notice that I have a lot of check marks in the 'yes' column and three check marks in the 'no' column. From the checklist, it looks like I need to go back and reread my poem to make sure I used adjectives precisely. I also notice that the checklist shows that I need to edit my writing for complete sentences and for end punctuation."
    • "After reviewing the checklist, I'm going to start by revising the details in my poem. Let me reread my poem once more and search for adjectives that are not precise. (Read the poem aloud again.) After rereading my poem, I'm thinking that my adjective might not be precise in my first verse. (Reread the first verse.) I think the sun is more orange in the morning, rather than white. So I am going to erase the word white in the first verse and replace it with orange."
  • Continue to think aloud, focusing now on editing.
    • "I see on the checklist that I also need to edit my poem for end punctuation and for complete sentences. Let me reread my poem once more and search for these two things. (Read the poem aloud again.) Oops, I notice that the second line of the second verse is not a complete sentence. (Reread the second verse.) I want to poem to say, 'The sun sees smiling kids,' so I am going to finish writing the words smiling kids on the line.
    • "I see on the checklist that I also need to edit my poem for end punctuation and for complete sentences. Let me reread my poem once more and search for these two things. (Read the poem aloud again.) Oops, I notice that the second line of the second verse is not a complete sentence. (Reread the second verse.) I want to poem to say, 'The sun sees smiling kids,' so I am going to finish writing the words smiling kids on the line.
    • "I also notice that I forgot to include some periods. I am missing a period in the first verse and one at the end of the poem. I will add these periods right now."
  • Using a total participation technique, invite responses from the group:

"What did I do to revise my poem today?" (You first looked at the check marks on the table labeled "Includes details," and then reread your poem to make the necessary revisions.)

"What did I do to edit my poem today?" (You then looked at the check marks on the table labeled "Follows conventions," and then reread your poem to make the necessary edits.)

"How did the checklist help?" (It helped direct you to what needed to be revised and edited.

  • Tell students that now they will have a chance to review their own High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist that includes feedback from the teacher as they revise and edit their "What the Sun Sees" poem.
  • For ELLs: By the end of this section, some students might still perceive the teacher's feedback to mean their writing is bad and needs correction. Consider reassuring all students again that the feedback will help them make their writing even better so it is the best it can be for the end of module celebration.
  • For students who may need additional support with comprehension: Use a bright color to make edits and revisions when modeling with the High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist. (MMR)

C. Revising and Editing: "What the Sun Sees" Poem (30 minutes)

  • Redirect students' attention to the posted learning targets and read them aloud:
    • "I can revise my work for details."
    • "I can edit my work for conventions."
  • Today students will revise and edit their poems based on teacher feedback. Remind them that this is the final step in preparing the poems for the end of module celebration.
  • Direct students' attention to the High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist example. Remind students that this checklist provides feedback to the writer about revisions and edits that need to be made.
  • Tell students that you read each of their poems and used the High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist to provide feedback to each student that they can use to revise and edit their poems.
  • Review the High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist as necessary and remind students that they will be making revisions based on whether or not they included details in their writing and will be making edits based on whether or not their writing followed conventions.
  • As students revise and edit their poems, they should use the following procedure:
  1. Begin by reviewing the High-Quality Narrative Poem Checklist.
  2. Identify criteria on the checklist that need to be revised or edited.
  3. Reread the poem and locate places in the poem that need to be revised or edited.
  4. Make revisions and edits directly on the template, making sure to show craftsmanship.
  5. Reread the poem one last time to catch any revisions or edits that may have been missed the first time.
  • Distribute prepared clipboards with students' "What the Sun Sees" poem and checklist. Then, transition students to their workspaces and invite them to begin working. As students work, circulate and monitor their progress toward W.1.5 using the Narrative Writing Checklist.
  • Remind students to show craftsmanship by taking their time when revising and editing their poem. Remind them that their final poems will be shared at the end of module celebration, so they should do their best work.
  • Give students a 5-minute warning to finish up their revisions and edits.
  • If productive, cue students to think about their thinking and to listen carefully and seek to understand:

"What did you do today that helped you succeed in with revisions and editing? I'll give you time to think and discuss with a partner." (Responses will vary.)

"Who can tell us what your classmate said in your own words?" (Responses will vary.)

  • Signal students to stop working through the use of a designated sound. Model cleanup, keeping directions clear and brief.
  • Invite students to take a stretch break as they return to the whole group meeting space.
  • To support sustained effort and persistence, emphasize the benefits of feedback for students by highlighting effort and growth over relative performance. (Example: Remind students that real authors have editors who provide feedback for their writing.) (MME)
  • For ELLs: Some students might need support deciding what to revise based on the teacher feedback in the High-Quality Work checklist. Consider reading the feedback if needed and helping these students verbalize what the next steps are to revise their work. (Example: "Saying the sun is setting and my family is having breakfast doesn't make sense. I need to make this description make sense.")
  • For ELLs: Some students might need support understanding the teacher's feedback regarding how a description doesn't make sense or how an adjective is not used correctly. Discuss the error and guide the students to correct it. (Example: "I noticed you wrote, 'My brothers is going to bed.' If it is more than one brother, would we say the brothers are or the brothers is going to bed?")

Closing & Assessments

ClosingMeeting Students' Needs

A. Pinky Partners: Sharing Our Work (5 minutes)

  • Invite students to give you an air high-five for their hard work today revising and editing their poems.
  • Tell the writers that they are going to use the Pinky Partners protocol to share their revised poem with a partner. Remind them that they used this protocol in Lessons 8-10 and review as necessary using the Pinky Partners Protocol anchor chart. (Refer to the Classroom Protocols document for the full version of the protocol.)
  • Guide students through the protocol and circulate to support them as necessary.
  • Refocus whole group, and with excitement, share that in the next lesson, students will practice sharing their poems in preparation for the end of module celebration.
  • To support communication and engagement, pair students with strategic partners to ensure they have a strong, politely helpful partner to support their efforts at writing their poem. (MME)
  • For ELLs: Some students can benefit from having time to practice reading their revised poems to themselves, before sharing them with a partner.

Copyright © 2013-2024 by EL Education, New York, NY.

Get updates about our new K-5 curriculum as new materials and tools debut.

Sign Up

Help us improve our curriculum.

Tell us what’s going well, share your concerns and feedback.

Terms of use. To learn more about EL Education, visit eleducation.org

Leave feedback