ELA G3:M3:U3:L5

Writing Narrative Texts: Revising for Dialogue and Description

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These are the CCS Standards addressed in this lesson:

W3.3: Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using effective technique, descriptive details, and clear event sequences.
W.3.4: With guidance and support from adults, produce writing in which the development and organization are appropriate to task and purpose.
W.3.6: With guidance and support from adults, use technology to produce and publish writing (using keyboarding skills) as well as to interact and collaborate with others.
W.3.3b: Use dialogue and descriptions of actions, thoughts, and feelings to develop experiences and events or show the response of characters to situations.
W.3.5: With guidance and support from peers and adults, develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, and editing.
L.3.2: Demonstrate command of the conventions of standard English capitalization, punctuation, and spelling when writing.
L.3.2c: Use commas and quotation marks in dialogue.

Daily Learning Targets

I can use dialogue and description to show rather than tell the feelings of characters in my scene of Peter Pan. (W.3.3b, L.3.2c)
I can punctuate dialogue correctly. (L.3.2c)
I can critique my partner's revised scene and provide kind, helpful, and specific feedback. (W.3.5)

Ongoing Assessment

Revised Peter Pan scenes (W.3.3b, L.3.2c)

Agenda

Agenda	Teaching Notes
1. Opening A. Reviewing Learning Targets (5 minutes) 2. Work Time A. Analyzing a Model (15 minutes) B. Mini Lesson: Punctuating Dialogue (10 minutes) C. Revising My Scene: Dialogue and Description (20 minutes) 3. Closing and Assessment A. Peer Critique: Dialogue and Description (10 minutes) 4. Homework A. Complete Punctuating Dialogue Practice in your Unit 3 homework. B. Accountable Research Reading. Select a prompt to respond to in the front of your independent reading journal.	Purpose of lesson and alignment to standards: In this lesson, students revise their scene of Peter Pan to include dialogue and description to show rather than tell how the characters feel (W.3.3b, W.3.5, L.3.2c). They revise their narratives using technology if possible (W.3.6); however, if this technology is not available, students can revise on paper. At the end of the lesson, students participate in a peer critique focusing on dialogue and description to show rather than tell (W.3.5). In this lesson, students focus on working to become ethical people as they provide peer feedback. Students practice their fluency by following along and reading silently as the teacher reads the Model Narrative: Revised Scene from Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens in Work Time A and the Model Narrative: Revised Scene from Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens - First Draft in Work Time C. How it builds on previous work: In the previous lesson, students finished writing the scene of Peter Pan that they revise in this lesson. Areas in which students may need additional support: Students may need support revising their narratives. Students have been paired strategically to support one another, but consider grouping those who require additional support in writing together with an adult for guidance. Assessment guidance: Consider using the Writing Process Checklist (informal assessment) to assess student work through the writing process (see the Tools page). Collect the Capitalizing Appropriate Words in Titles Practice homework from Lesson 3. Refer to Capitalizing Appropriate Words in Titles Practice (answers, for teacher reference) as necessary. Down the road: In the next lesson, students will revise their narratives with a specific focus on word choice for effect (L.3.3a).

Teaching Notes

1. Opening

A. Reviewing Learning Targets (5 minutes)

2. Work Time

A. Analyzing a Model (15 minutes)

B. Mini Lesson: Punctuating Dialogue (10 minutes)

C. Revising My Scene: Dialogue and Description (20 minutes)

3. Closing and Assessment

A. Peer Critique: Dialogue and Description (10 minutes)

4. Homework

A. Complete Punctuating Dialogue Practice in your Unit 3 homework.

B. Accountable Research Reading. Select a prompt to respond to in the front of your independent reading journal.

Purpose of lesson and alignment to standards:

In this lesson, students revise their scene of Peter Pan to include dialogue and description to show rather than tell how the characters feel (W.3.3b, W.3.5, L.3.2c). They revise their narratives using technology if possible (W.3.6); however, if this technology is not available, students can revise on paper. At the end of the lesson, students participate in a peer critique focusing on dialogue and description to show rather than tell (W.3.5).
In this lesson, students focus on working to become ethical people as they provide peer feedback.
Students practice their fluency by following along and reading silently as the teacher reads the Model Narrative: Revised Scene from Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens in Work Time A and the Model Narrative: Revised Scene from Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens - First Draft in Work Time C.

How it builds on previous work:

In the previous lesson, students finished writing the scene of Peter Pan that they revise in this lesson.

Areas in which students may need additional support:

Students may need support revising their narratives. Students have been paired strategically to support one another, but consider grouping those who require additional support in writing together with an adult for guidance.

Assessment guidance:

Consider using the Writing Process Checklist (informal assessment) to assess student work through the writing process (see the Tools page).
Collect the Capitalizing Appropriate Words in Titles Practice homework from Lesson 3. Refer to Capitalizing Appropriate Words in Titles Practice (answers, for teacher reference) as necessary.

Down the road:

In the next lesson, students will revise their narratives with a specific focus on word choice for effect (L.3.3a).

In Advance

Continue to prepare technology necessary for students to use devices to word-process their revised scenes.
Post: Learning targets and applicable anchor charts (see Materials list).

Tech and Multimedia

Continue to use the technology tools recommended throughout Modules 1-2 to create anchor charts to share with families, to record students as they participate in discussions and protocols to review with students later and to share with families, and for students to listen to and annotate text, record ideas on note-catchers, and word-process writing.
Work Time C: Prepare devices, one per student, for students to work on their revised scene using word processing software such as Google Docs.

Supporting English Language Learners

Supports guided in part by CA ELD Standards 3.I.A.4, 3.I.C.10, 3.I.C.11, 3.I.C.12

Important points in the lesson itself

The basic design of this lesson supports ELLs by allowing time to practice each learning target with a partner before independently applying them to their revisions. The extensive work with a teacher model for each learning target is also supportive of ELLs, providing concrete examples for what is expected.
ELLs may continue to find it challenging to keep pace with the class in revising their scenes with both dialogue and descriptive language. Additionally, they may have difficulty determining language to go from "telling to showing." Consider working with a small group of students as they work independently in Work Time C. Additionally, consider providing the scaffolds in "For heavier support," below, and in the Meeting Students' Needs column.

Levels of support

For lighter support:

In Work Time C, encourage students to expand their sentences by adding more than one adjective/adverb from the Descriptive Language Construction Board, as well as a coordinating or subordinating conjunction. Provide sentence frames in the middle of the board to support this. (Example: As Peter nervously studied Soloman's feathers, he felt an uneasy chill run down his spine.)

For heavier support:

Provide a word bank with examples of going from telling to showing feelings (e.g., kind = smiling, doing things for others, asking thoughtful questions; nervous = shaking, biting nails). Consider including visual support for each example.
During Work Time, B, consider providing practice with writing and punctuating dialogue. Create index cards, each with a picture of a character, a dialogue bubble at the top, and a blank line at the bottom. Invite students to write and punctuate the dialogue in the dialogue bubble on the lines below, referring to the Writing Dialogue handout to do so.

Universal Design for Learning

Multiple Means of Representation (MMR): In this lesson, students are asked to compare the differences between the first draft and final draft of the Revised Scene from Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens. This involves multiple levels of comprehension as students highlight these changes and then think about why the author made these revisions in the final draft. Consider offering pre-highlighted copies of the first and final drafts to scaffold the comparison for students.
Multiple Means of Action and Expression (MMAE): Similar to previous lessons in this module, this lesson offers several opportunities for students to engage in discussion with partners. Continue to support those who may need it with expressive language by providing sentence frames to help them organize their thoughts.
Multiple Means of Engagement (MME): In this lesson, students review one another's work, provide feedback through a peer critique, and then revise their work. Remind students of the benefits of peer review and feedback and emphasize effort and growth over relative performance. Remind students that real authors have editors who provide feedback for their writing through each step in the writing process. Writers welcome this feedback because it improves their writing.

Vocabulary

Key: Lesson-Specific Vocabulary (L); Text-Specific Vocabulary (T); Vocabulary Used in Writing (W)

dialogue, description (L)

Materials

Close Readers Do These Things anchor chart (begun in Module 1)
Narrative Writing Checklist (from Lesson 3; one per student and one to display)
Model Narrative: Revised Scene from Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens (from Lesson 1; one per student)
Model Narrative: Revised Scene from Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens (from Lesson 1; example, for teacher reference)
Show Not Tell handout (one per student and one to display)
Narrative Writing Checklist (from Lesson 3; example, for teacher reference)
Writing Dialogue handout (one per student and one to display)
Model Narrative: Revised Scene from Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens - First Draft (one per student and one to display)
Model Narrative: Revised Scene from Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens - First Draft (example, for teacher reference)
Highlighters (yellow; one per student)
Draft Peter Pan scenes (completed in Lesson 4; one per student)
Sticky notes (two colors; one of each per student)
Peer Critique anchor chart (begun in Module 1)
Working to Become Ethical People anchor chart (begun in Module 1)
Directions for Peer Critique (from Lesson 2; one to display)
Capitalizing Appropriate Words in Titles Practice (from Lesson 3; one per student)
Capitalizing Appropriate Words in Titles Practice (answers, for teacher reference)

Assessment

Each unit in the 3-5 Language Arts Curriculum has two standards-based assessments built in, one mid-unit assessment and one end of unit assessment. The module concludes with a performance task at the end of Unit 3 to synthesize their understanding of what they accomplished through supported, standards-based writing.

Opening

Opening	Meeting Students' Needs
A. Reviewing Learning Targets (5 minutes) Invite students to pair up with the same student they worked with in the previous lessons and to label themselves A and B. Direct students' attention to the learning targets and read them aloud: "I can use dialogue and description to show rather than tell the feelings of characters in my scene of Peter Pan." "I can punctuate dialogue correctly." "I can critique my partner's revised scene and provide kind, helpful, and specific feedback." Focus students on the first learning target and underline the word dialogue. Turn and Talk: "What does dialogue mean? What is dialogue?" (conversation between two or more people) If students aren't sure, invite them to use a Vocabulary strategy listed on the Close Readers Do These Things anchor chart to determine the meaning of the word. Underline the word description in the first learning target. Turn and Talk: "What word can you see inside the word description?" (describe) "So what do you think a description is?" (when you describe something) Think-Pair-Share: "Why do we want to show rather than tell the feelings of the characters? Why not just say, 'Peter was angry' or 'Wendy was sad'?" (It encourages readers to use their imagination to think about how the scene looks, or sounds, or smells--to make inferences, which makes it more interesting and helps readers to feel as though they are actually there.) "From these learning targets, what do you think you will be doing in this lesson?" (revising Peter Pan scenes to include dialogue and description to show, not tell, how characters are feeling, and then peer critiquing a partner's work for dialogue and description) "What is the purpose of this?" (to make the scenes more enjoyable for the reader) Ensure students understand that when authors write stories that are published as books, they go through many, many rounds of revision before they are published to make them as good as they can possibly be.	For students who may need additional support with comprehension and engagement: Ask students to share one way that they worked toward the first learning target in a previous lesson. (MMR, MME) For ELLs: (Stopping between Learning Targets) Consider stopping after each learning target has been read to ask students what they think they will be doing in this lesson. Invite students to rephrase the learning target in their own words to ensure comprehension. For ELLs: (Descriptive Language Construction Board) Display the Descriptive Language Construction Board to reference adjectives and adverbs that show rather than tell feelings (fine, thoughtfully, wrinkled) to provide concrete examples for the learning target.

Meeting Students' Needs

A. Reviewing Learning Targets (5 minutes)

Invite students to pair up with the same student they worked with in the previous lessons and to label themselves A and B.
Direct students' attention to the learning targets and read them aloud:

"I can use dialogue and description to show rather than tell the feelings of characters in my scene of Peter Pan."

"I can punctuate dialogue correctly."

"I can critique my partner's revised scene and provide kind, helpful, and specific feedback."

Focus students on the first learning target and underline the word dialogue.
Turn and Talk:

"What does dialogue mean? What is dialogue?" (conversation between two or more people)

If students aren't sure, invite them to use a Vocabulary strategy listed on the Close Readers Do These Things anchor chart to determine the meaning of the word.
Underline the word description in the first learning target.
Turn and Talk:

"What word can you see inside the word description?" (describe)

"So what do you think a description is?" (when you describe something)

Think-Pair-Share:

"Why do we want to show rather than tell the feelings of the characters? Why not just say, 'Peter was angry' or 'Wendy was sad'?" (It encourages readers to use their imagination to think about how the scene looks, or sounds, or smells--to make inferences, which makes it more interesting and helps readers to feel as though they are actually there.)

"From these learning targets, what do you think you will be doing in this lesson?" (revising Peter Pan scenes to include dialogue and description to show, not tell, how characters are feeling, and then peer critiquing a partner's work for dialogue and description)

"What is the purpose of this?" (to make the scenes more enjoyable for the reader)

Ensure students understand that when authors write stories that are published as books, they go through many, many rounds of revision before they are published to make them as good as they can possibly be.

For students who may need additional support with comprehension and engagement: Ask students to share one way that they worked toward the first learning target in a previous lesson. (MMR, MME)
For ELLs: (Stopping between Learning Targets) Consider stopping after each learning target has been read to ask students what they think they will be doing in this lesson. Invite students to rephrase the learning target in their own words to ensure comprehension.
For ELLs: (Descriptive Language Construction Board) Display the Descriptive Language Construction Board to reference adjectives and adverbs that show rather than tell feelings (fine, thoughtfully, wrinkled) to provide concrete examples for the learning target.

Work Time

Work Time	Meeting Students' Needs
A. Analyzing a Model (15 minutes) Focus students on their Narrative Writing Checklist. Focus students on the following criteria. Read them aloud and invite students to add asterisks to the checklist to show they will be focusing on them today: W.3.3b, L.3.3: I use dialogue to show the reaction of characters to events. I describe what the characters are doing, thinking, and feeling. W.3.4, L.3.3: I tell my story in a way that helps the reader imagine the characters, setting, and events. Invite students to retrieve their Model Narrative: Revised Scene from Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens. Tell students that you are going to read it aloud. While you do, they should focus on the following question: "How do the characters in this scene feel? How do you know?" Read it aloud again and invite students in their pairs to act out the scene: one playing the role of Peter and one playing the role of Soloman. Think-Pair-Share: "How does Peter feel?" (He is upset at first, and then he seems to be confused. At the end, he misses his mother.) "How does Soloman feel?" (He is worried about Peter; he doesn't want to upset him, but he knows Peter needs to know the truth.) Give students 5 minutes to work in pairs to reread the scene and underline the parts of the scene that tell them how Peter is feeling. Use a total participation technique to select students to share their responses with the whole group. Refer to the *Model Narrative: Revised Scene from Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens* (example, for teacher reference)** as necessary. Think-Pair-Share: "How did the author help you understand how Peter was feeling? What did she do?" (used descriptions of Peter's actions) "What is one thing that Peter did that shows how he was feeling?" (Responses will vary, but may include: the description of how he looked at his own nightgown and then Soloman's feathers with a wrinkled brow, which shows he was confused, or he closed his eyes and shook his head as if hoping to see something else when he opened his eyes, which shows he wasn't happy with what he saw.) Display and distribute the Show Not Tell handout. As students share out, connect their responses to the criteria on the handout. Repeat this process with the scene and Soloman: Invite pairs to reread the scene and to underline the parts of the scene that tell them how Soloman is feeling. After 5 minutes, use a total participation technique to select students to share their responses with the whole group. Refer to the Model Narrative: Revised Scene from Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens (example, for teacher reference) as necessary. Turn and Talk: "How did the author help you understand how Soloman was feeling? What did she do?" (used descriptions of his thoughts and actions, specifically dialogue) "What is one thing that Soloman did that shows how he was feeling?" (Responses will vary, but may include the description of how he pointed at Peter's feet and asked questions about them as if pretending to be curious, but showing his worry by being so cautious with Peter.) As students share out, connect their responses to the criteria on the Show Not Tell handout. Think-Pair-Share: "Look at the amount of dialogue compared to text that isn't dialogue. What do you notice?" (There isn't a lot of dialogue--just enough to achieve the purpose.) As students share out, connect their responses to the criteria on the Show Not Tell handout. Emphasize that authors use enough dialogue to show not tell, but too much and the scene will read like a play rather than a story. The balance of dialogue and description is important. Focus students back on their Narrative Writing Checklist and update the Characteristics of Revised Peter Pan Scene to emphasize that students will focus on show, not tell. Refer to the Narrative Writing Checklist (example, for teacher reference) as necessary.	For students who may need additional support in organizing their thinking for verbal expression: During Think-Pair-Share, scaffold partner conversations as needed by offering prompts or sentence frames. (MMAE) For ELLs: (Displaying Enlarged Scene) Display the enlarged revised scene and model underlining and highlighting descriptive language and dialogue that shows how the characters feel. Encourage students to refer to it as they do the same with a partner. For ELLs: (Modified Anchor Chart) Consider making the Show Not Tell handout into four quadrants, one for each bullet point listed. Record examples of each in the corresponding quadrant, sketching images when possible to support students with accessing potentially unfamiliar language. For ELLs: (Descriptive Language Construction Board) Display the Descriptive Language Construction Board to record additional adjectives and adverbs that show rather than tell feelings, encouraging students to reference it as they revise their scenes. Sketch pictures next to unfamiliar words to support students in their acquisition of these words.
B. Mini Lesson: Punctuating Dialogue (10 minutes) Focus students on this sentence in the Model Narrative: Revised Scene from Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens (example, for teacher reference): "Why, that is a fine nightgown you are wearing there, young Peter," he said admiringly. Highlight it on the displayed model and read it aloud. Invite a volunteer to be Soloman Caw and you be the narrator and read the line to the class playing your roles. Invite partner A to be Soloman Caw and partner B to be the narrator and to read this sentence aloud, each playing their designated role. Turn and Talk: "What do you notice about the punctuation around this dialogue?" (There are quotation marks around the words that Soloman actually said, and there is a comma at the end before the narrator's words.) "What does the punctuation do?" (It tells us when Soloman is speaking and when the narrator is speaking.) Display and distribute the Writing Dialogue handout. Connect students' responses to the criteria on the handout. Focus students on this sentence in the Model Narrative: Revised Scene from Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens (example, for teacher reference): "Then Soloman pointed at Peter's toes and asked, 'It's quite chilly. Aren't your feet cold?'" Highlight it on the displayed model and read it aloud for students. Invite another volunteer to be Soloman Caw and you be the narrator and read the line to the class playing your roles. Invite partner B to be Soloman Caw and partner A to be the narrator and to read this sentence aloud, each playing their designated role. Turn and Talk: "What do you notice about the punctuation around this dialogue?" (There are quotation marks around the words that Soloman actually said, and there is a comma at the end of the narrator's words before Soloman speaks.) "What does the punctuation do?" (It tells us when Soloman is speaking and when the narrator is speaking.) Connect students' responses to the criteria on the Writing Dialogue handout. Tell students that as they add/revise dialogue to revise their Peter Pan scenes in this lesson, they will need to follow those rules of writing dialogue.	For students who may need additional support with oral language and processing: Allow ample wait time throughout the mini lesson. (MMAE, MME) For ELLs: (Different Tones of Voice) Encourage students to read the dialogue in different tones of voice (e.g., gentle, harsh, nervous). Invite students to determine which tone of voice makes the most sense, referencing words in the sentence, as well as context from the text, to do so. For ELLs: (Practicing Punctuating Dialogue) In addition to narrating and discussing dialogue, allow students to practice writing and punctuating dialogue with the index cards from "For heavier support." Invite students to narrate this dialogue with a partner once they have written it and to check each other's work for correct punctuation.
C. Revising My Scene: Dialogue and Description (20 minutes) Distribute and display the *Model Narrative: Revised Scene from Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens* - First Draft** and tell students that this is a first draft of the Model Narrative: Revised Scene from Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens that they have been analyzing in this unit. Read it aloud for the whole group. Invite students to spend 3 minutes in pairs comparing the first draft and the final draft. Invite them to underline on the first draft the things that have been changed in the final draft. Use a total participation technique to select students to share out. Refer to the *Model Narrative: Revised Scene from Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens* - First Draft (example, for teacher reference)** as necessary. Think-Pair-Share: "Why did the author choose to revise these parts of the text?" (In the first draft, he or she told the reader how Peter was feeling, and also it wasn't clear how Soloman was feeling, so he or she chose those parts to show, not tell.) "How does the first draft compare to the final draft?" (The first draft lacks the interesting detail and description of the final draft, which helps the reader to really understand how the characters are feeling.) If productive, cue students to add on: "Who can add on to what your classmate said? I'll give you time to think and write." (Responses will vary.) Distribute highlighters. Guide students through identifying places to revise their scenes with a partner: Invite students to retrieve their *draft Peter Pan* scenes** and to silently reread them. Invite students to work with their partner to identify two places where they could show rather than tell how a character is feeling in partner B's scene and to highlight them. As needed, provide guidance that this could be somewhere they have told the reader how the character is feeling (e.g., "Peter was sad") and/or somewhere that a character's feelings are not very clear and dialogue and description would make them clearer. After 2 or 3 minutes, invite students to start working on partner A's scene. After 5 minutes, refocus whole group. Invite students to revise the highlighted places in their scenes, referring to the Show Not Tell and the Writing Dialogue handouts as necessary. After 10 minutes, refocus whole group and use a checking for understanding technique (e.g., Red Light, Green Light or Thumb-O-Meter) for students to self-assess against the first two learning targets.	For students who may need additional support with comprehension: Offer copies of the first draft pre-highlighted with the things that have been changed in the final draft. (MMR) For ELLs: (Acting Out) Once students identify two places where they could show rather than tell how a character is feeling, invite them to act out the feelings with their partner. Encourage their partner to notice the things they say and do, as well as how they do them, and to jot them down, providing a starting point from which to work on their revisions. For ELLs: (Sentence Frames) Provide sentence frames to support students in going from telling to showing character feelings. Invite them to orally practice the frames before writing. Examples: My character feels confused. My character shows this by wrinkling his brow and comparing himself to Soloman. (action) My character says, "Why don't I have feathers like you?" (dialogue)

Closing & Assessments

Closing	Meeting Students' Needs
A. Peer Critique: Dialogue and Description (10 minutes) Distribute sticky notes and tell students they will now use the Peer Critique protocol to provide feedback to a partner on his or her additions of dialogue and description to the revised scenes. Remind students that they used this protocol in Lesson 2 and review as necessary using the Peer Critique anchor chart. Refer to the Classroom Protocols document for the full version of the protocol. Focus students on the Working to Become Ethical People anchor chart and remind them specifically of the habit of respect. Remind students that when providing peer feedback, they need to be respectful. Guide students through a peer critique using the Directions for Peer Critique. Use a checking for understanding technique (e.g., Red Light, Green Light or Thumb-O-Meter) for students to self-assess against the final learning target. Direct students' attention to the Working to Become Ethical People anchor chart and focus them on respect. Use a checking for understanding technique for students to self-assess against the criterion. Turn and Talk: "What is one challenge you faced during the Peer Critique protocol today?" (Responses will vary.) As time permits, select volunteers to share out and invite other students to make suggestions for how to overcome that challenge the next time they participate in a peer critique. For example, if students found it difficult to suggest an improvement to their partner because they were worried about hurting his or her feelings, suggest using the sentence stems and questions on the Peer Critique anchor chart. Collect Capitalizing Appropriate Words in Titles Practice homework from Lesson 3. Refer to the Capitalizing Appropriate Words in Titles Practice (answers, for teacher reference) as necessary.	For students who may be uncomfortable sharing their own challenge with the entire class: Consider allowing them to share their challenge with a partner rather than with the whole group. (MME) For ELLs: (Sentence Starters) Provide sentence starters on the sticky notes for students to complete during the Peer Critique protocol.

Closing