A. Analyze a Model: Pacing, Dialogue, and Sensory Details – W.8.3b (15 minutes)

• Review the appropriate learning target relevant to the work to be completed in this section of the lesson:

“I can use pacing, sensory images, and dialogue to appeal to the senses, capture the action, and help my reader understand the experiences of my upstander.”

• Prompt students to retrieve their Upstander Model: “Interview with Anna Jensen,” and direct them to the first question. Read aloud both the question and follow-up question as well as the responses for question 1, as students follow along silently. Explain to students that one technique authors use in narrative writing to impact the pacing of the story is to include sensory details. Explain that sensory details are details that involve the senses: speaking, hearing, seeing, touching and tasting. Review with students the meaning of pacing in this context (slowing down or speeding up the action in a narrative at certain points for an effect).
• Display and distribute the Narrative Writing Practice: Pacing, Dialogue, and Sensory Details note-catcher. For ELLs and students who require additional support, Narrative Writing Practice: Pacing, Dialogue, and Sensory Details note-catcher ▲ can be used to help guide students’ thinking with matching. Show students how it is structured. Invite students to underline examples of sensory details in Anna’s response to question 1 and the follow-up question.
• Invite students to Turn and Talk:

“What sensory details did you notice in Anna’s answer to question 1?” (Anna sees the baker was surrounded by two German soldiers with swastikas stitched on their uniforms; Anna hears shouts and scuffling, herself saying “Dear God, no.”)

“What do you notice about the amount of sensory details Anna uses in her initial response, and the amount she uses in the follow-up question?” (At first, Anna uses only a few sensory details, but when she is asked a follow-up question, she adds a lot more sensory details).

“What effect does this increase in sensory details have on the pacing of the story?” (The first response to question one gives a broad context of the day, the places and the people involved. It sets the scene and leads into the moment. In the follow-up response, the time slows down and just describes one small moment. The level of description increases so the reader can sense what Anna is seeing, thinking, hearing, and feeling during this time.)

• Ensure that students understand that the moment Anna describes in her response is a critical moment in her life, so the writer slowed down this event and then used sensory details and very precise, specific language, including a bit of dialogue, to make it come alive more vividly. At other parts in the interview, the pace will go back to normal, or even speed up, but here, slowing down is an effective tool to help the reader connect to an important event in the narrative. Remind students that the narrative technique of slowing down the action so the writer can give precise, sensory details and description and dialogue can also be called “exploding the moment.”
• Model completing part of the first row of the note-catcher by sharing the first answer in each column and asking students if they have any questions about what to track in the Narrative Writing Practice: Pacing, Dialogue, and Sensory Details note-catcher. Prompt students to reread both parts of question 1 in the model, and then complete question 2 of the note-catcher with a partner, tracking the sensory details they underlined and looking for any additional sensory images the writer creates by using these sensory details.
• To review their partner work, ask students to Think-Pair-Share with a different partner:

“What is Anna seeing in this moment?” (She sees the baker being torn away by soldiers, the apron left hanging, and the empty bakery.)

“What is Anna hearing in this moment?” (She hears scuffling, screams, sirens, and herself saying “Dear God, no.”)

“How would the narrative be different if the sensory details were not included?” (The details make the scene more vivid and real. They help the reader picture the experience and connect with the gravity of it. Without the dialogue, we would not know Anna's feeling about what she is seeing and hearing.)

• Use a total participation technique, and collect responses from the group. Tell students that writers often describe the feelings of a character to help the reader connect to an experience or a character. Using small bits of dialogue and describing what the character feels, sees, hears, touches, smells, or tastes are ways to deepen the reader’s engagement and understanding of the character’s experience in the narrative.
• Invite students to practice this skill by revising the sentence in question 3 of their Narrative Writing Practice: Pacing, Dialogue, and Sensory Details note-catcher. Encourage students to add sensory details and description to this sentence to engage the reader. As appropriate, point out the similarity between the techniques they are using in these revisions and the exploded moment they created in the graphic panels in Lesson 6.
• As time permits, call on students to share out their revised sentence and highlight effective examples of including sensory details.
• Review the responses, and make sure students understand the importance of using sensory details when exploding a moment. Explain to students that so much is embedded into one interview response because the writer slowed time down, added sensory details and included a small amount of dialogue. Tell students that they will have more practice exploding a moment in Lesson 10, when they practice for their narrative.
• Repeated routine: Invite students to reflect on their progress toward the relevant learning targets.