Writing Narrative Texts: Revising to Convey Experiences Precisely | EL Education Curriculum

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ELA G5:M1:U3:L6

Writing Narrative Texts: Revising to Convey Experiences Precisely

In this Lesson

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These are the CCS Standards addressed in this lesson:

  • W.5.3: Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using effective technique, descriptive details, and clear event sequences.
  • W.5.3d: Use concrete words and phrases and sensory details to convey experiences and events precisely.
  • W.5.5: With guidance and support from peers and adults, develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, editing, rewriting, or trying a new approach.
  • L.5.1: Demonstrate command of the conventions of standard English grammar and usage when writing or speaking.
  • L.5.1b: Form and use the perfect (e.g., I had walked; I have walked; I will have walked) verb tenses.

Daily Learning Targets

  • I can form and use verbs in the perfect verb tenses. (L.5.1b)
  • I can revise my monologue to precisely convey experiences and for the perfect verb tenses. (W.5.3d, W.5.5, L.5.1b)

Ongoing Assessment

  • Revised Monologue draft (W.5.3d, W.5.5)

Agenda

AgendaTeaching Notes

1. Opening 

A. Engaging the Writer: Drawing an Event (5 minutes)

B. Reviewing Learning Targets (5 minutes)

2. Work Time 

A. Mini Lesson: Forming and Using the Perfect Verb Tenses (15 minutes)

B. Analyzing a Model (10 minutes)

C. Guided Practice: Revising a Monologue (20 minutes)

3. Closing and Assessment

A. Reflecting on Learning (5 minutes)

4. Homework

A. Accountable Research Reading. Select a prompt and respond in the front of your independent reading journal.

Purpose of lesson and alignment to standards:

  • In this lesson, students revise their monologues by adding concrete words and phrases and sensory details to convey experiences precisely. They analyze Miguel's Monologue for concrete words and sensory details and revise their monologues planned in the first half of the unit and written for the Mid-Unit 3 Assessment (W.5.3d, W.5.5). 
  • In Work Time A, students review how to form and use the perfect verb tenses, and practice revising a sentence from Miguel's Monologue for this. They then revise their own monologues for perfect verb tenses in Work Time C (L.5.1b).
  • In this lesson, the habit of character focus is on working to become an effective learner. The characteristic that students are reminded of specifically is taking responsibility, as they self-assess and revise their writing.
  • The research reading that students complete for homework will help build both their vocabulary and knowledge pertaining to human rights. By participating in this volume of reading over a span of time, students will develop a wide base of knowledge about the world and the words that help describe and make sense of it. 

How it builds on previous work:

  • In the first half of the unit, students planned and drafted their monologues that are revised in this lesson. 
  • In Lesson 2, students were introduced to forming verbs in the perfect tenses, and they review that learning in Work Time A. 
  • Throughout Unit 1, students were introduced to various total participation techniques (for example, cold calling, equity sticks, Think-Pair-Share, etc.). When following the directive to "Use a total participation technique, invite responses from the group," use one of these techniques or another familiar technique to encourage all students to participate.
  • Continue to use Goal 1 and 2 Conversation Cues to promote productive and equitable conversation.

Areas in which students may need additional support:

  • Concrete words and phrases can be a challenging concept for students to understand. They may need to compare additional examples from the text or from another text to fully understand what it means and how to apply it to their work.

Assessment guidance:

  • Review student monologues during and/or after the lesson to determine whether students have appropriately used concrete words and sensory details.
  • Refer to the Grade 5 Narrative Writing Rubric when reviewing student work to determine areas in which students require more instruction and/or support (see the Tools page).
  • Consider using the Writing Informal Assessment: Writing and Language Skills Checklist (Grade 5) during students' writing in Work Time C. See the Tools page.

Down the road:

  • Students will give and receive feedback on their monologues and revise their monologues for appropriate task, purpose, and audience in the next lesson.

In Advance

  • Review the Red Light, Green Light protocol. See Classroom Protocols.
  • Post: Learning targets and applicable anchor charts.

Tech and Multimedia

  • Work Time C: If students used a word processor for their monologues, they will revise their writing using the same tool. To show their revisions from this lesson, students should highlight in green.
  • Work Time C: Students use speech-to-text facilities activated on devices or use an app or software like Dictation.io.

Supporting English Language Learners

Supports guided in part by CA ELD Standards 5.II.B.3 and 5.I.C.10

Important points in the lesson itself

  • The basic design of this lesson supports ELLs with opportunities to receive explicit instruction on the meaning and structure of perfect verb tenses in the context of a sentence from a model monologue.
  • ELLs may find it challenging to absorb the meaning and structures of all three perfect tenses at once. Consider focusing primarily on the past perfect tense as it will be the most prevalent tense found in their narratives. Simplify the discussion of auxiliary verbs by introducing the formula had + past participle.

Levels of support

For lighter support:

  • During the Mini Language Dive, challenge students to generate questions about the sentence before asking the prepared questions. Example: "What questions can we ask about this sentence? Let's see if we can answer them together." (Who is the sentence about? What happens first in this sentence?) Encourage students to use Conversation Cues with other students to extend and deepen conversations, think with others, and enhance language development.

For heavier support:

  • If beginning proficiency students are grouped in pairs with more advanced proficiency students, consider working with these pairs closely during Work Time C and completing their revisions together as shared or interactive writing experiences.

Universal Design for Learning

  • Multiple Means of Representation (MMR): This lesson includes a mini lesson about verbs and past perfect tense. Because many students find grammar rules abstract and need concrete examples in order to comprehend them and use them effectively in their own writing, consider engaging students in kinesthetic activities to help bring grammar rules to life (see Meeting Students' Needs column).
  • Multiple Means of Action and Expression (MMAE): Revising one's writing requires students to use executive function skills in order to organize and follow several tasks. To remove barriers for students who may need additional support with memory or executive function skills, consider creating individualized checklists with your expectations that students can follow so that they can monitor their own learning. 
  • Multiple Means of Engagement (MME): Some students may see the revision process as a critique of their writing ability. Create a supportive and inclusive classroom environment by reminding students that everyone is working toward being a better writer. Highlight and offer specific, positive feedback on growth and development rather than relative performance.

Vocabulary

Key: Lesson-Specific Vocabulary (L); Text-Specific Vocabulary (T); Vocabulary Used in Writing (W)

  • precise, concrete words and phrases, sensory details, perfect verb tenses (L)

Materials

  • Monologue group norms (from Lesson 1; one per monologue group)
  • Paper (blank; one piece per monologue group)
  • Perfect Verb Tenses handout (from Lesson 2; one per student and one to display)
  • Miguel's Monologue (from Lesson 1; one per student and one to display)
  • Close Readers Do These Things anchor chart (begun in Unit 1, Lesson 2)
  • Vocabulary logs (from Unit 1, Lesson 4; one per student)
  • Green colored pencils (one per student)
  • Monologue drafts (begun in Lesson 5; revised during Work Time C; one per student)
  • Narrative Writing Checklist (from Lesson 2; one per student and one to display)
  • Working to Become Effective Learners anchor chart(begun in Unit 2, Lesson 13)
  • Red, yellow, and green objects (one of each color per student)

Assessment

Each unit in the 3-5 Language Arts Curriculum has two standards-based assessments built in, one mid-unit assessment and one end of unit assessment. The module concludes with a performance task at the end of Unit 3 to synthesize their understanding of what they accomplished through supported, standards-based writing.

Opening

OpeningMeeting Students' Needs

A. Engaging the Writer: Drawing an Event (5 minutes)

  • Invite students to sit with their monologue groups and to spend a few minutes reading through the monologue group norms they generated in Lesson 1.
  • Tell students that in a moment, they are going to work with their monologue groups to create a precise drawing of their selected event from the book.
  • Using a total participation technique, invite responses from the group:

"What would a precise drawing look like?" (drawn in a clear way with exact details)

"What does precise mean?" (clear, exact details)

  • Ask students to select a group member to be the artist and draw the picture. Tell students the remaining group members will describe the event for the first student to draw.
  • Distribute paper and invite students to begin. As students are describing the event to the artist, remind them to be precise and describe the event in a clear way with exact details.
  • After 2 minutes, invite the artist to share his or her drawing with the monologue group. As he or she shares, invite the group to label the picture using precise words and/or phrases.
  • For ELLs and students who may need additional support with new vocabulary: Display the words precise, precisely, and precision. Ask: 

"What is the difference between the words precise, precisely, and precision?" (Precise is an adjective that describes a noun, e.g., "a precise drawing." Precisely is an adverb that describes a verb or action, e.g., "Waldo cleanly and precisely drew the straight lines." Precision is a noun that refers to the quality or attribute of being exact, e.g., "Gina showed great precision when she drew the picture.") 

Invite students to practice using each word. (MMR)

For ELLs and students who may need additional support with comprehension: Clarify the expectation that students create precise drawings by displaying an example of a precise drawing and an example of an imprecise drawing of the same subject, with precise labels and imprecise labels, respectively. Ask students what differences they notice between the two drawings. (MMR)

B. Reviewing Learning Targets (5 minutes)

  • Direct students' attention to the posted learning targets and select a volunteer to read them aloud: 

"I can form and use verbs in the perfect verb tenses."

"I can revise my monologue to precisely convey experiences and for the perfect verb tenses."

  • Point to the first learning target and remind students that the language focus for this unit has been on using the perfect verb tenses. Tell students they will work more with verbs in these tenses in this lesson.
  • Focus students on the second learning target and write the words concrete words and phrases and sensory details on the board. Tell students that they will continue analyzing Miguel's Monologue and use it to revise the monologues they drafted as part of the Mid-Unit 3 Assessment in the previous lesson for precise language.
  • For ELLs and students who may need additional support with comprehension: Ask: 

"What does it mean to form a verb in the perfect tenses, and what does it mean to use a verb in the perfect tenses?" (To form a verb is to use it correctly in the sentence and to make sure it has the right affixes and auxiliary verb, such as -ed and have. To use a verb means to say it or write it so that it successfully communicates our ideas.) (MMR)

  • Connect the learning targets to the Opening activity by asking students to share some concrete words or sensory details that helped their group draw a precise picture. (MMR)

Work Time

Work TimeMeeting Students' Needs

A. Mini Lesson: Forming and Using the Perfect Verb Tenses (15 minutes)

  • Remind students that they have been working with forming verbs in the perfect verb tenses.
  • Display and invite students to retrieve their Perfect Verb Tenses handout and use a total participation technique to invite responses from the group:

"When do we use the perfect verb tenses?" (to show action already completed)

"How do we form the perfect verb tenses?" (add the auxiliary form of have to the past participle of the verb)

  • Display a copy of Miguel's Monologue and invite students to take out their own copies. Remind students they have been using this text as an example of an effective monologue.
  • Direct students' attention to the following sentence in the first paragraph of Miguel's Monologue:
    • "The horses had caught the scent of smoke on the wind and were screaming with fear."
  • Using a total participation technique, invite responses from the group:

"What are the verbs in this sentence?" (had caught, were screaming)

"When did the action happen? How do you know?" (in the past; the verbs are in the past tense)

"What are the translations of these verbs in our home languages?" (Responses will vary.)

"What are the base forms of this verb in English?" (catch, to be)

"What verb tense did the author use for had caught? How do you know?" (The author used past perfect. I know because it uses an auxiliary verb and a past participle. I know because it describes an action that continued and was completed.)

  • Tell students the author used this tense because the action began, continued, and completed in the past: The horses smelled the smoke and then reacted to it. It helps the reader understand that the horses were screaming with fear, or were scared, because they smelled the smoke from the fire.
  • Invite students to reread Miguel's Monologue and find another sentence that uses the past perfect verb tense. Select a volunteer to share which sentence they identified with the group:
    • "I ran to her, and she confirmed that she had seen Abuelita in the burning house."
  • Repeat the sequence of questions for this sentence, identifying the verbs, discussing when the action happened and the verb tense the author used and why, and what it helps the reader to understand about the action.
  • Point out that both of these examples use the past perfect tense, and that the monologue also uses the past simple tense because the narrator is describing an event that already happened. Tell students that this should be true for their monologues as well.
  • Refocus whole group. Remind them that one of the things they should be demonstrating in their writing in this unit is correct use of the perfect verb tenses. Tell students they will have time to reread their drafts and revise their monologues for this later in the lesson.
  • For ELLs and students who may need additional support with memory: As students discuss how to form perfect verb tenses, display a formula on the board to visually represent the structure. (Example: have + past participle) Invite students to practice forming the verb by plugging familiar verbs into the formula (examples: have been; had seen; had watched). (MMR, MMAE)
  • To reduce the complexity of the task, pre-highlight all the verbs in this excerpt of the text. Ask students to identify which ones are in past perfect tense. (MMAE)
  • For ELLs: Mini Language Dive. Ask students about the meaning of the chunks of a key sentence from Miguel's Monologue: The horses had caught the scent of smoke on the wind and were screaming with fear. Write and display student responses next to the chunks. Examples:
    • "What is the gist of this sentence?" (Responses will vary.)
    • "There is some figurative language in this sentence. What do you think it means to catch the scent of smoke in the wind?" (to smell something in the air)
    • "Who smelled the smoke? What, in the sentence, makes you think so?" (The horses. The sentence is about the horses.)
    • "What did the smell of smoke cause the horses to do? Why? How do you know?" (It made them scream because they were afraid. I know because the sentence says they were screaming with fear. They knew that fire was nearby.)
    • Draw and display a blank timeline. Say: "Let's create a timeline of the events in this sentence."
    • "Which action in the sentence happened first? How do you know?" (The horse smelled the smoke. I know this because it is in past perfect, which means it was complete.)
    • Invite a student to fill in the timeline with the words horses smelled smoke toward the beginning. Ask:
    • "Should we make this a dot on the timeline or a little dash? Why?" (A dash; the past perfect is used when an event takes place for a short period of time, so the horses smelled the smoke for a short time before the action was completed.)
    • Invite a student to draw a short dash at the appropriate point on the timeline.
    • "Which action in the sentence happened next? Is that action complete? How do you know?" (The horses screamed. It continued to happen. We don't know when it stopped. It had to happen next because the smell of the smoke caused them to scream. I know it continued to happen because it is in the past progressive tense.)
    • Invite a student to fill in the timeline with the words horses were screaming right after. Ask:
    • "How should we represent this on the timeline? Why?" (an arrow continuing until the end of the timeline; because the action continued and we do not know when it stopped)
    • "What is the gist of this sentence?" (Responses will vary.)
    • "What does this sentence tell us about Miguel's experience?" (Responses will vary.)
    • "What do the verb tenses tell you about the events Miguel describes? (They tell us when the events happened and when they stopped or continued.)

B. Analyzing a Model (10 minutes)

  • Focus students again on Miguel's Monologue.
  • Remind them of the drawings they created with their monologue groups in Opening A. 
  • Using a total participation technique, invite responses from the group:

"Why was it important to use precise language when describing your event to your group's artist?" (Responses will vary, but may include: We needed to be precise so the artist would include the exact details of what was going on in the scene; we needed to be precise to help the artist understand what to draw and where to draw it.)

  • Tell students that authors of narrative texts use precise language to help convey the exact experiences of their characters to the reader. Tell students that one way authors do this is by including concrete words and phrases and sensory details in their writing.
  • Direct students' attention to the following sentence in the first paragraph of Miguel's Monologue:
    • "As we raced into the courtyard, the air was thick with smoke and we could see flames licking at all of the windows on the first floor."
  • Using a total participation technique, invite responses from the group:

"What did the air look like? What words in the sentence make you think so?" (It was smoky; there was a lot of smoke; "the air was thick with smoke.")

"What does the house look like? What words in the sentence make you think so?" (Flames were coming out of the windows; "flames licking at all of the windows.")

  • Tell students that these phrases are examples of concrete language--the author included them to help the reader picture exactly what the fire looked like as Esperanza's house burned.
  • Write the word sensory on the board.
  • Invite students to clap the syllables of the word with you as you say them. Write the syllables on the board: sen-sor-y.
  • Focus students on the vocabulary strategies listed on the Close Readers Do These Things anchor chart and use a total participation technique to invite responses from the group:

"We have probably seen parts of this word before, so which strategies could we use to determine the meaning of this word?" (Responses will vary, but may include: using known affixes or root words.)

  • Invite students to tell you in a chorus what familiar word they hear in sensory. (sense)
  • Use a total participation technique to invite responses from the group:

"What does sense mean? What are our five senses?" (Our senses are the way we experience our environment. The five senses are touch, smell, taste, sight, and hearing.)

"What kind of details are sensory details?" (details that describe what we experience with our five senses)

  • Clarify that sensory details are concrete because they tell us exactly how things feel, smell, taste, look, or sound.
  • Add sensory to the Domain-Specific Word Wall. Invite students to add translations of the word in their home languages in a different color next to the target vocabulary.
  • Invite students to also add the word to their vocabulary logs.
  • Distribute green colored pencils and invite students to reread Miguel's Monologue with their monologue group, underlining examples of concrete words and sensory details.
  • Using a total participation technique, invite responses from the group:

"Which parts of the text did you underline to show examples of concrete words and sensory details?" (Responses will vary, but may include: Paragraph 1: "were screaming with fear," Paragraph 3: "With a rush of relief" "her eyes wild," Paragraph 4: "chokingly thick smoke" "the house creaking loudly" "there was a lot of crashing and banging as wood gave way and things fell to the ground" "white-knuckle grip.")

  • Invite students to turn and talk to their monologue group. Then select volunteers to share out:

"Choose an example of concrete words or sensory details that you underlined. What does it help you to understand about Miguel's experience?" (Responses will vary, but may include: It helps the reader understand exactly what Miguel saw or heard; it helps the reader understand the event exactly as Miguel experienced it.) 

  • If productive, cue students to listen carefully and seek to understand:

"Who can tell us what your classmate said in your own words?" (Responses will vary.)
  • For ELLs: Invite students to share some examples of sensory details in their home language. Ask questions to prompt responses. (Examples: "What are some words you might use when something smells bad?" "What are some words you might use when you see something beautiful?")
  • For ELLs and students who may need additional support with comprehension: Prepare students for the exercise in Work Time C by inviting them to close their eyes for 1 minute and imagine they are in their favorite place in the world. Using a total participation technique, ask students what they smell, hear, see, feel, and taste as they imagine being in their chosen places. (MMR, MME)
  • Enhance comprehension by showing students a picture and ask them to use concrete phrases or sensory words to describe the details that they see. (MMR)

C. Guided Practice: Revising a Monologue (20 minutes)

  • Distribute students' monologue drafts and tell students they will begin revising their drafts for concrete language and sensory details, as well as for correct use of the perfect tenses.
  • Display and invite students to take out their copy of the Narrative Writing Checklist and point out the following characteristics:
    • W.5.3d, L.5.3, L.5.6
    • L.5.1
  • Using a total participation technique, invite responses from the group:

Are there any specific criteria based on your analysis of Miguel's Monologue that you should be aware of and list in that column on the checklist?" (Responses will vary, but may include: Use words and phrases that tell what my narrator might have seen, heard, felt, touched, or tasted during the event he or she is describing in the monologue.)

  • As students share out, capture their responses in the Characteristics of My Monologue column as needed.
  • Focus students on the Working to Become Effective Learners anchor chart, specifically: I take responsibility. Remind students that because they will be self-assessing and revising their work, they will need to take ownership of their writing and think about how to change or improve their work.
  • Give students 2 minutes to read their monologue draft.
  • Invite students to close their eyes for 1 minute and to imagine what their narrator might have seen, heard, felt, touched, or tasted during his or her experience of the event. Encourage them to notice the details they can see and perhaps feel in their imagination that they can refer to as they begin.
  • Remind students to refer to the relevant criteria on their Narrative Writing Checklist.
  • Emphasize that they should revise only where it is necessary (i.e., where something needs more precise details to describe it).
  • Invite students to begin revising.
  • Circulate to support students as they work. Ask questions to guide their thinking:

"What senses are most relevant to this action/experience that you want to add more detail to? Why?"

"What words or phrases can you use to describe this event/experience precisely?"

"Do you have a sentence that uses the past perfect verb tense? Did you use the correct form of have, and the past participle of the verb?"

  • Invite students to record 'Y' for 'Yes' and the date in the final column of their Informative Writing Checklist if they feel the criteria marked on their checklists have been achieved in their writing in this lesson.
  • Distribute red, yellow, and green objects.
  • Tell students they are now going to use the Red Light, Green Light protocol to reflect on their progress toward the learning targets. Remind them that they used this protocol in Lesson 4 and review as necessary. Refer to the Classroom Protocols document for the full version of the protocol.
  • Guide students through the protocol using the first learning target.
  • Note students showing red or yellow objects so you can check in with them.
  • Repeat this process with the remaining learning targets and so students can self-assess against how well they took responsibility in this lesson.
  • For ELLs and students who may need additional support with writing: Display key phrases from Miguel's Monologue that students can draw from as they revise their own narratives for sensory details. (Examples: "With a rush of," "I heard what sounded like," "All around me I could hear/smell/see/feel.") (MMR, MMAE)
  • For ELLs and students who may need additional support with writing: Provide sentence frames to support usage of the past perfect tense. Invite students to practice using the frames verbally. Examples: "Before I [verb-ed], I had ______________." "Once I had ______, I felt _________." "I had ______ already, when I [verb-ed]_____." (MMR)
  • Consider creating individual checklists for students to follow as they revise. Example:

1. Read my draft.

2. Closed my eyes for 1 minute to imagine what the narrative might have seen, heard, felt, touched, or tasted during his or her experience of the event. 

3. I added at least two senses that are relevant to this action or experience. 

4. I added at least two phrases that can be used to describe the event/experience precisely.

5. I revised the verbs to use past perfect tense when appropriate. 

  • For students who may feel uncomfortable sharing their progress on meeting the learning targets publicly: Minimize risk by providing students with a sheet of paper where they can select a color for each learning target in private. This provides useful data for future instruction and helps students monitor their own learning. (MME)

Closing & Assessments

ClosingMeeting Students' Needs

A. Reflecting on Learning (5 minutes)

  • Invite students to whisper-read their revised draft.
  • Ask:

"Show a thumbs-up if your draft uses concrete words and sensory details, or a thumbs-down if you are not sure."

  • Check in with students who showed a thumbs-down in the next lesson.
  • Invite students to reflect on the process of revising their writing by thinking about the following to themselves: 

"What were your challenges as you revised today?" 

"What were your successes?"

"How did you take responsilibity as you revised today?"

  • Select volunteers to share out.
  • For ELLs: Give students specific, positive feedback on their impressive work revising for sensory details and for usage of perfect tenses. (Example: "This task is very complicated, and I recognize the perseverance it took for you to complete it. Well done!") 
  • Create a supportive and inclusive classroom environment by reminding students that everyone is working toward being a better writer. Highlight and give specific, positive feedback on growth and development rather than relative performance. (MME)

Homework

HomeworkMeeting Students' Needs

A. Accountable Research Reading. Select a prompt and respond in the front of your independent reading journal.
  • For ELLs and students who may need additional support with reading and writing: Refer to the suggested homework support in Lesson 1. (MMAE, MMR)

There are no new supporting materials for this lesson.

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