ELA 2012 G7:M2B:U2:L19

End of Unit Assessment, Part 2: Revise Essay Drafts

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Long Term Learning Targets

With support from peers and adults, I can use a writing process to ensure that purpose and audience have been addressed. (W.7.5)
I can use correct grammar and usage when writing or speaking. (L.7.1)
I can use correct capitalization, punctuation, and spelling to send a clear message to my reader. (L.7.2)

Supporting Targets

I can use feedback from others to revise and improve my essay.
I can use correct grammar and punctuation in my essay.
I can use new vocabulary appropriately in my essay.

Ongoing Assessment

End of Unit 2 Assessment, Part 2: Revised essay

Agenda

Agenda	Teaching Notes
1. Opening A. Review Learning Targets (3 minutes) 2. Work Time A. Mini Lesson: Addressing Common Errors (5 minutes) B. Return Draft Essays with Feedback (5 minutes) C. Essay Revision (30 minutes) 3. Closing and Assessment A. Preview Unit 3 (2 minutes) 4. Homework A. Finish the final draft of your essay to turn in at the start of the next lesson, along with your first draft, rubric, and planners.	Some students may need more help revising than others. There is space for this during the revision time. As in Lesson 17, consider the setup of the classroom; students ideally will be working on computers. If students did not use computers to draft their essays in Lesson 17, consider giving them more time to revise and rewrite their essays. Have independent activities ready for students who finish revising early. Since not all students may finish their revisions during this class, have students email their files, check out a computer, or come in during an off period or after school to finish. Consider extending the due date for students who do not have access to a computer at home. In advance: - Look over students' graded drafts (from Lesson 17) and find a common conventions error. Craft a mini lesson for Work Time A to address the error (a sample structure is provided in the lesson). - Identify a body paragraph in a student essay that uses and punctuates a "quote sandwich" well to be used as an exemplar. Make a copy of this body paragraph, without the student's name, to show in Work Time Part B. The goal is for students to have another model to work toward as they revise their own essays.

Teaching Notes

1. Opening

A. Review Learning Targets (3 minutes)

2. Work Time

A. Mini Lesson: Addressing Common Errors (5 minutes)

B. Return Draft Essays with Feedback (5 minutes)

C. Essay Revision (30 minutes)

3. Closing and Assessment

A. Preview Unit 3 (2 minutes)

4. Homework

A. Finish the final draft of your essay to turn in at the start of the next lesson, along with your first draft, rubric, and planners.

Some students may need more help revising than others. There is space for this during the revision time.
As in Lesson 17, consider the setup of the classroom; students ideally will be working on computers.
If students did not use computers to draft their essays in Lesson 17, consider giving them more time to revise and rewrite their essays.
Have independent activities ready for students who finish revising early.
Since not all students may finish their revisions during this class, have students email their files, check out a computer, or come in during an off period or after school to finish. Consider extending the due date for students who do not have access to a computer at home.
In advance:

- Look over students' graded drafts (from Lesson 17) and find a common conventions error. Craft a mini lesson for Work Time A to address the error (a sample structure is provided in the lesson).

- Identify a body paragraph in a student essay that uses and punctuates a "quote sandwich" well to be used as an exemplar. Make a copy of this body paragraph, without the student's name, to show in Work Time Part B. The goal is for students to have another model to work toward as they revise their own essays.

Vocabulary

feedback

Materials

Pygmalion (play; one per student)
Document camera
Exemplar body paragraph (one for display)
End of Unit 2 Assessment Prompt: Pygmalion Argument Essay (from Lesson 12; one to display)
End of Unit 2 Assessment, Part 1: Students' draft essays (from Lesson 17, returned in this lesson with teacher feedback)
Computers

Opening

Opening
A. Review Learning Targets (3 minutes) Have students get out *Pygmalion* and direct their attention to the learning targets: * "I can use feedback from others to revise and improve my essay." * "I can use correct grammar and punctuation in my essay." * "I can use new vocabulary appropriately in my essay." Remind students that they practiced incorporating peer feedback in Lesson 15. They will use the same skills in this lesson, only this time the feedback will be on their control of conventions.

A. Review Learning Targets (3 minutes)

Have students get out Pygmalion and direct their attention to the learning targets:

* "I can use feedback from others to revise and improve my essay."

* "I can use correct grammar and punctuation in my essay."

* "I can use new vocabulary appropriately in my essay."

Remind students that they practiced incorporating peer feedback in Lesson 15. They will use the same skills in this lesson, only this time the feedback will be on their control of conventions.

Work Time

Work Time	Meeting Students' Needs
A. Mini Lesson: Addressing Common Errors (5 minutes) Tell students that you noticed a common error in their essays (for instance, comma splices or inconsistent capitalization). On the document camera or white board, show an example of the error. Explain why it is incorrect. Model how to revise and correct the error. Check for understanding. Ask students to give you a thumbs-up if they understand the error and how to fix it when revising, or a thumbs-down if they don't understand fully. If many students give a thumbs-down, show another example of the error. Ask them to think about how to fix it. Cold call a student to suggest how to correct it. If the answer is incorrect, clarify. Again ask students to give you a thumbs-up or thumbs-down. If some students are still struggling, consider checking in with them individually.
B. Return Draft Essays with Feedback (5 minutes) Show the exemplar body paragraph using the document camera. Point out how the student uses a quote sandwich, especially how the student punctuates and cites the quote. Display the End of Unit 2 Assessment Prompt: Pygmalion Argument Essay where all students can see it. Tell students that they will be getting their End of Unit 2 Assessment, Part 1: draft essays back now with comments on them. They should silently look over the comments and make sure they understand them. Invite students to raise their hands to ask questions if they have them. Alternatively, create a "Help List" on the white board and invite students to add their names to it if they need questions answered. Remind them that they will start their revisions in class today, but they will have the opportunity to complete the revisions at home tonight. Return students' draft essays.
C. Essay Revision (30 minutes) Revisit expectations for using computers. Assign computers, and then prompt students to open the word processing program and make revisions. Circulate around the room, addressing questions. Consider checking in first with students who need extra support to make sure they can use their time well. Students are allowed to refer to their Pygmalion texts if needed. When a few minutes are left, ask students to save their work and make sure they have access to it at home tonight.	Some SWD students or ELLs may need more scaffolding to revise. It can be helpful to give their feedback as a set of step-by-step instructions. For instance: The circled words are misspelled. Get a dictionary and use it to correct the circled words. The underlined sentences are run-ons. Find them and correct them by adding a full stop and capitalizing the first letter of the new sentence. For students who need more time, consider focusing their revisions on just one paragraph or just one skill, such as capitalizing appropriately.

Closing & Assessments

Closing
A. Preview Unit 3 (2 minutes) Tell students that their finished essay is due at the beginning of class tomorrow, along with their essay drafts and planners. Tell the class that the final draft of this essay marks the end of Unit 2. Next, students will have the opportunity to expand their learning about identity further by exploring teen identity in advertisements and marketing in Unit 3.

Homework

Homework
Finish the final draft of your essay to turn in at the start of the next lesson, along with your first draft, rubric, and planner. Note: There is no specific due date set for the return of this assessment, but please take no more than a few days to assess and return the papers. The model essay, for your reference, can be found in Lesson 12. Scoring should be conducted using the New York State Expository Rubric--argument version.

Finish the final draft of your essay to turn in at the start of the next lesson, along with your first draft, rubric, and planner.

Note: There is no specific due date set for the return of this assessment, but please take no more than a few days to assess and return the papers. The model essay, for your reference, can be found in Lesson 12. Scoring should be conducted using the New York State Expository Rubric--argument version.

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