A. Model Essay: Conclusion, Transitions, Formal Style (20 minutes)

• Hand back the corrected exit tickets from Lesson 13 and remind students that the exit ticket asked them to analyze the conclusion for its claim and its restatement of reasons. Give them a moment to look over their work, and then review the answers out loud with the class:

-   Claim: "Mr. Doolittle remains true to his own self in character, even while his clothes and appearance change considerably."

-   Restatement of reasons: "due to his desire to get rid of his own daughter and keep all his fortune to himself ..."

• Have students turn to the Conclusion box of their Pygmalion Essay Planner. Have them put their fingers on the "claim" and "restatement of reasons" sections, and point out that these are key elements of a conclusion on their planners, just as in the model essay.
• Ask students what part of the conclusion the planner includes that students did not identify yet. Listen for: "why this view is worthy of consideration by the reader."
• Ask students to locate the sentence that addresses "why this view is worthy of consideration by the reader" on the exit ticket from Lesson 13. Listen for: "The evidence from Act I and Act V clearly supports this view."
• Have students turn to the New York State Expository Rubric--argument version that is in their Pygmalion Essay Planners. Ask them to find and share the place on the rubric where the conclusion is addressed. Listen for: "Coherence, Organization and Style section."
• Point out that the conclusion is one of the most important parts of the essay, and as such is assessed directly on the rubric.
• Next, have students turn their attention to the second "bridging" component: transitions.
• Remind them that when they examined the Pygmalion Essay Planner for the first time, they noted that this particular component was missing. Tell them that the planner is simply an organizer for thinking; other characteristics of a strong argument essay need to be addressed, as well.
• Ask students to find, again, the places in the Coherence, Organization and Style section that refer to transitions. Listen for "appropriate transitions" in Levels 3 and 4.
• Ask students to remind you of what a transition word is. Listen for something like: "a word that serves to connect ideas in the text." If students state something inaccurate, "bounce" the question back to the students:

*   "How does that answer sound to everyone else?"

• Record the correct definition on the Transitions anchor chart.
• Have students turn again to the Pygmalion Model Essay: Alfred Doolittle, The Same As Ever. Give them a few minutes to go on a "scavenger hunt" for transition words in the text. Model the first one, using a document camera:

*   "As I skim through the text, the first transition word I see is in the introduction: however. However is a transition word that tells me, the reader, that an idea is coming up that is in contrast to the idea that I have been reading about. For example: 'I am cold; however, I did not put on a jacket.' I'm going to circle however in my text."

• Share out what other transition words students find in the text. Refer to the Model Essay: Transitions and Formal Style (for teacher reference) for possible answers.
• As a class, have students brainstorm other transitions they can use in their essays and record them on the Transitions anchor chart. Listen for answers such as: "therefore," "additionally," "as a result," and "on the other hand."
• Remind students that this list will remain posted as they write their essays, and that they should include transitions in their writing wherever they will make the ideas clearer and more clearly connected.
• Tell students that lastly, they will examine the model essay for formal style.
• Refer students one last time to the Coherence, Organization and Style section on their New York State Expository Writing Rubric--argument version. Ask:

*   "In Level 3, the rubric states that a 'formal style' includes two things. What two things are they?"

• Give students time to find and share the answer. Listen for: "precise language and domain-specific vocabulary."
• Explain that these two elements are the key to creating a formal tone. Note that when we write informally--for example, when texting or sending an email to a friend--we don't generally worry about using words precisely. In fact, we often take a lot of shortcuts to make the writing as easy as possible. This is perfectly fine, but something different is required when we are writing formally for school or for our jobs. Y0u may wish to give or show an example here of formal writing that you do within school.

• Look at the first paragraph of the model essay together. Conduct a brief "think-aloud" about how the paragraph creates a formal tone. Say something like:

*   "First, by skimming the paragraph, I can see right away that there aren't any emoticons or texting language--those are informal, and we're sticking with formal style here. Next, I can see that words and phrases like 'it is said' and 'impoverished' are used. These are very precise choices. They don't just say 'here's a quote' or 'Alfred Doolittle was poor.' The author finds the most precise, sophisticated word choice she can. Lastly, I see the word 'internally.' That's a domain-specific vocabulary word, meaning it's a word we use within a specific subject; we've been using it throughout the whole module as we study Pygmalion. Other domain-specific words are 'evidence' and 'claim,' for example."

• Emphasize that you expect students to do their best to create a formal style. The best way to do this, as the rubric indicates, is to be very mindful about their word choice as they write. Remind them that vocabulary reference materials such as dictionaries and thesauri can be used at any time while they draft.
• Sum up by pointing out that everything they need to know about these three aspects of strong argumentative writing is on the rubric. The students should have it next to them as they write, along with their essay planner.